worst day of my life

I am writing this post to ensure that I document what has happened to my sweet baby over the last couple of days and to ask for prayers from those of you who read this.

On Friday Sadie and I were headed to MP for some R&R. She didn't eat much that day which is not like her, but didn't think much of it. About halfway into our trip she threw up. It was awful,you can imagine in the middle of no where, your baby covered in puke! I stopped at a gas station and changed her clothes and got some towels to wipe her down and made the decision to keep going to MP. She seemed OK and I though she must have eaten something. Then after stopping in Sulpher Springs, about 30 min from MP, she got sick again! I just let her sit in it and raced to MP. Figured that any cop would have mercy on a sick baby. I called Mike and laughed about this nasty parent moment.

Once we got home, she seemed fine. She didn't feel great, but was happy to see Memere and Granddaddy and all the dogs. The next morning she had some fever, hard to get an accurate read on those temporal scanners but around 102. After our ER visit on New Years, I wasn't too worried about that fever so I gave her Tylenol 3x every 4 hours that day and she played and ate a little. She seemed to just have a stomach virus.

Sunday morning we got up and she didn't eat breakfast, but drank her milk. She seemed fine playing and cuddling with Memere watching Mickey. Then all of a sudden she started having a seizure. She got stiff and limp at the same time and was turning blue and her eyes rolling back into her head. My mind left my body and I got strangely calm and serious. "call 911" and I grabbed her. I flipped her over and patted her back to ensure she wasn't choking. I scooped her up and my mom and dad got in the car and met the ambulance at the fire station. I was not going to wait. I prayed the entire time to please not let God take her, any other illness I can deal with as long as she would breathe.

In the car on the 2 minute drive to the ambulance, sensed a shallow breath and a gurgle. I stuck my finger in her mouth to stop any potential choking (DO NOT DO THIS IF SOMEONE HAS A SEIZURE. i was later told it can cause them to bite your finger off and choke. always roll them on their side and tilt the neck up to clear the airway). The EMTs were waiting for us thanks to my Mom calling 911 and telling them to meet us. they grabbed her and tested her o2 levels and hooked her up to a machine to watch her heart rate. She stopped fulling seizing and starting passing out and rolling her eyes around in confusion. I thought at that moment she was brain damaged, she couldn't focus and had shallow breathing. I was in full adrenaline mode, calling Mike to tell him what had happened. He didn't answer. I thought how can I tell him this?

We made it to the hospital, not lights and sirens but were there quickly as it was early Sunday AM. She was taken into the ER. The doctor on call examined her and didn't say much but ordered a CT, chest Xray and blood work. I was pissed that he didn't seem to much of a rush so I asked for Dr. Stagg to be paged. I knew he was pediatric specialist and a wonderful person. I worried that someone would overlook something because she had stabilized but was still out of it and screaming. That crying was the best sound I ever heard. At this point I thought she can cry she is ok, I am not sure if she can see but I don't care she is breathing. I see the look in the eyes of the doctor and xray tech as they ask questions, they look worried. Seizures don't run in our family. We were unsuccessful in getting a CT because she wouldn't be still and didn't want to sedate her. Mike makes it to MP, I was worried about him driving after he hears his daughter had a seizure. He thought I said fever because I was so calm.

We got an Xray and blood work and both looked good. She had elevated CRP, an indicator of inflammation and reduced white blood cells. Dr. Stagg felt that she had a flu like or flu infection and had a seizure as a result. It was concerning that the seizure didn't happen with a fever as most febrile seizures do. they are fairly common (15-20%) in children under 6 who have sudden spikes in temperature. They don't cause any harm. She was given fluids for deyhadration and had to get an IV. She was so funny when they took it out she just held up her arm and waited for them to get it off. The nurse, Jeremey was just laughing.

We left the hospital to stay with my parents again, 4 eyes are better than 2. The drive back to Dallas in two separate cars was the longest ever. Once something like this happens all you do is wait for it to occur again. Thank the Lord, I stayed a couple extra minutes in MP on Sunday or the seizure would have happened in the car in nowhere.

So we got back yesterday and have been to see our pediatrician. She is still not feeling well, flu like symptoms. He recommend seeing a neurologist because the seizure occurred when there was no fever. He said if it was a typical febrile seizure, they wouldn't do anything. That amazes me because if any parent saw that, they wouldn't just not do anything. So now we are waiting for neurology appt. They are saying it could be a month! Mike and I are not good with the worry and waiting so Mike went to the offices today and hopefully we will get in this week. The biggest difference is that because she didn't get a ct or mri in MP, we don't want to wait a month to see if there is a mass of some sort. I called the ped. today and insisted upon him recommending an MRI. It is amazing to me that if you are not force full or persistent no one wants to help. It is a shame.

This has been the hardest couple of days, sick with worry but grateful for her smile and warm body. I know that God tells us not to worry but to present our prayers to him for guidance. I am trying, I know He will give us peace. I ask for you to pray for Sadie and for other families who experience sick kids. It is truly the worst feeling to see your baby suffer. We will keep you posted on our test, I am confidant (mostly confident) that they will be OK. If they are not, we will deal. I just want the facts now to determine our next steps.

If you parents ever have this happen here is what the doctors say to do:

• time the seizure if possible (less than 15 minutes is good)
• roll the child on their side and tilt the head back to allow any vomit to not get aspirated
• don't stick anything in their mouth or try to give Tylenol orally.
• My advice is to make sure you get a CT/MRI while at ER, it is impossible to schedule one after without a wait

I am so grateful to my husband for his support and fighting for our daughter with the doctors. To my parents who got us there quickly and prayed hard while we waited. To Dr. Stagg for his compassion and knowledge. To all my friends who have prayed and made phone calls to help us~