two steps forward, 1 step back

today we went for our follow-up doctors visit for sadie. It seems all I do between her and I is go to the doctor! I need to pull out my blackberry to keep track of tests and doctors visits etc! Anyway, I digress. She weighs 9lbs and 13.5 oz now and is gaining on average about 2 oz a week. Doc is concerned about the lack of weight gain and continued projectile spit up so he referred us to a gastro and Sadie is having a sonogram today to rule out pyloric stenosis. He also switched her formula that I supplement with to nutramigen. He said I should continue to give her formula to supplement when she seems still hungry. She seems hungry all the time because she spits up all her food! He seems to think her colic is to blame for her crying and lack of sleep and assures me that she will outgrow it in 6 more weeks or so (funny how that time frame keeps getting longer). He said she will probably continue to spit up for a year, that once babies spit like her that they usually continue to do so. He recommended to up the prevacid to twice a day and to cut all dairy from my diet. I can only tolerate few things so that should not be a problem.

So all you Moms who have dealt with this before, what worked?? I have tried gripe water, similac rs, changing my diet, all different feeding positions. The only thing she seems to like is the swaddler to sleep and being held all the time. If you tried something and it worked for colic and/or reflux please pass it on!

Playdate with the Trudens

Sarah, Aldo and Julianna
Sadie & Julianna

adorable

Walking with Daddy

helping Grandma cook

trying to catch her smile

Dodger loves Sadie

Saturday we had dinner at the Trudens. They have a little girl, Julianna who is almost 4 months and cute as a button! Sadie and Julianna were not that interested in each other but the adults had a wonderful time! Thanks for a great meal and great company!

Sadie has shown some improvement over the last couple of days. We have had 2 nights of 6 hours night sleep! I can't wait until it is consistent :) My Mom came to visit for a couple of days and it was a big help! We also go back to the doctor this week to weigh her and check progress. We are getting closer to the three month mark that everyone says is the key! Thank you all for your encouragement and comments, it makes me feel better to know that I am not alone or doing something wrong.

Happy Thursday

I put Sadie in her bumbo yesterday for the first time and took this picture from my phone so it is a little fuzzy. We are enjoying a visit from grandma carol and Sadie has been calmer today. She looks so cute in her chair and enjoys sitting by herself!

"high need" baby

We had our 2 month appointment yesterday and it was very interesting. Dr. Neely said that Sadie seems to have colic since her prevacid isn't working and she screams the majority of the day and sleeps so little. He said it just meant she was "high need" and she would grow out of it in a month or so. What a PC term for fussy! The good news is that nothing physically or clinically is wrong with her, she just is "expressive" in her communication. My mom said that I was the same for the first 3 months of my life too! It makes me appreciate the 3 kids in 3 years she managed do do so gracefully!

Sadie weighed 9 lbs and 8oz and is almost 23 inches long, she is in the 75th percentile in length and 25th in weight. I always hated when moms said percentiles, like she passed some test and here I am saying the same thing! THE reason is that he is a little concerned that she isn't gaining weight as quickly as he would like so I am supplementing with formula more. We go back in 2 weeks for follow-up. The other funny/sad thing is the conversation he had with me about antidepressants and reaching out for help. I guess the tear streaked face and messy new mom made him feel the need to ensure I was not going to crack up. I assured him I was good, just tired and stressed about not being able to comfort her. She will calm down for other people, hopefully the next month will make it all go away. I hate wishing for her to be older because she will never be this age again. I don't mean to sound ungrateful or like I don't love her, I am just being honest about how I feel so I will remember one day. I know how blessed I am and I love her so much.

It was an interesting week, I have been sick and having severe stomach pains so when she does sleep it is almost impossible for me to. I had an ultrasound today and should know if it is gallstones like the doctor thinks, hopefully it is nothing difficult. It seems there is always something this last month! At least none of it is serious.

I made a trip to Target with Sadie by myself the other day. I was feeling so proud of how I was managing to shop for groceries and keep Sadie occupied when she started having a serious meltdown. I mean red-faced hyper screaming! I had a dilemma of a full cart and no food in the house or I could leave. I chose to stay and finish while she screamed up and down the aisles. I had to laugh or I would cry because I had at least 3 people say to me "maybe she is hungry" or have you tried a baby carrier. I mean really?? I realize she is crying, maybe the stressed look on my unshowered face would tell you that I am doing the best I can. If it was as simple as food, I would feed her! People are so funny in their attempts to be helpful.

I appreciate the opportunity to be a mother and go through these crazy times with this special little girl!

Why Sadie Grace

Antique toy blocks

Gift from Kay at Engraved Euniques

Concentration during burping!

I love this picture with his smile and wedding ring showing

Mike's eyes look so great here

Love her expression!

Catherine gave Sadie this adorable diaper cover and Kelley gave us the tutu

Love that she is looking at us, not loving my double chin

My favorite picture! Her eyes look so alert and adorable!

Second favorite one!

Dodger and his sister

Eating her tutu

Love this candid shot

Here are some of the pictures from our session with Mallory. They turned out so great!

I realize that I never explained how Sadie got her name. I saw it one day at a doctor's office before I was pregnant on a Christmas card and thought it was so cute. I looked it up and saw that it meant "God's princess" and was a nickname for Sarah. It was also old fashioned and not too popular. I have always loved that my name had a meaning and thought that something with a good meaning was a great fit for our little girl. I never liked that there were so many Sarah's and I wanted something pretty traditional but not too popular.

When I found out I was pregnant and having a girl and around that time Oprah named her dog Sadie, that really annoyed me so I took it off the table for a while (I also found out many other people have dogs named Sadie). You know how when people ask what names are you considering, you float a couple and the expressions are annoying. I often got "oh I had a dog named Sadie" when I said that name! In the end I love dogs too so I guess people name their dogs all sorts of names.

I always loved the name Grace and the peace that comes when I say that name and all the meaning it holds. I feel so blessed to be given grace and love the song Amazing Grace. Mike didn't want to use it as a first name because of a girl he knew (isn't that always the case when looking for a name :)) So for the majority of the pregnancy Mike would not commit to anything because he wanted to see her first. I already had stuff monogramed and put her name up so it was Sadie in my mind. I joked with him that we could always just take it down if he didn't like it. Other names we considered; Anna Elizabeth (my middle name), Lily Grace and Avery Elizabeth. In the end we just came back to Sadie Grace and am so glad we did. I love it and it fits her perfectly!

Road Trip

Dad singing to Sadie
Bubba, Courtney, Matthew and Sadie

Aunt Charmaine and Sadie

Nanny, Poppa, Mom, Me and Sadie

I have always considered sleeping a hobby of mine. I love taking a nap and enjoy a great deep sleep. I have always been a light sleeper, often waking to any little noise and dreaming very vividly. Needless to say once I found out I was prego, I knew that my "hobby" would be over for a while :) I never imagined I would be so exhausted all the time. The cruel joke is that the sleep I do get is the half awake Mom sleep! I have noticed also that there a million commercials for any baby product that shows a perfectly dressed, well rested Mom playing in her immaculate house with her serene baby. She looks so happy and peaceful with her newborn and toddler. There is no trace of her crying in the shower or falling asleep nursing and her baby or babies are so well behaved and giggly! There is no commercial advertising formula showing a Mom who has not showered in 2 days and barely brushed her teeth with her screaming child :) It seems I would appreciate the latest toy or whatever product they are selling if it showed a little reality, maybe she could not have perfectly vacumed carpet and flawless make-up.

The purpose of this back story is to tell you of the best gift I got this weekend, the gift of naps! My parents came up on Saturday for the hockey game and on Sunday morning I gave my mom the baby and slept for 3 hours! I was so excited about this that I decided to follow them home for a couple of days to get some rest. We got to see my grandparents and Uncle Bubba again. It was a quick trip because I had to get back for the doctors appointment, but we will make it again.

Cute even when sad!

Sadie seems to have reflux pretty bad, she cries after each feeding and throws up until the next one. She then sleeps very little 15 minutes at a time during the day. This makes for a stressed baby and mommy! The Doctor assures us she will outgrow it and my Mom said I did the same thing. I guess it is payback :) She really started this about a month ago and continues to have an upset tummy. I have tried burping more frequently, feeding from a bottle, holding her upright for 30 minutes. I am going to try a special formula Nichole recommended tonight for a supplement to the breast milk. Any other suggestions?

Finally, I don't need surgery yet. The Doc said that I have a nasty break and complicated by the fact I have been walking on it for 4 weeks so he has ordered me to wear this horrible contraption 24 hours a day for the next month to 6 weeks. He must not realize how impossible it is with stairs and a newborn! I am doing my best to wear it while I am sitting so I don't compound the issue.

It has been crazy here, good thing I have such a cute baby to cuddle with (even if she is screaming) a great husband and family and friends to lean on! Thank you to all my sweet friends for letting me vent and for the encouragement! It makes me feel better that not everyone has the "fisher price ad" perfect Mom experience!

Weekend Fun

On Saturday we attended our first Stars Game of the season. Mike got us underground parking and a suite so we invited my parents and took Sadie. She was great the whole game and any crying was drowned out by the noise. Other than me being worried that she would start screaming any minute, she did great!

In an update on my knee, I broke my knee cap. It is a clean break so I am hoping it will just heal on its own over time. It will be 4 weeks on Saturday so I can't imagine that they would do anything for it after this long. I am seeing an orthopedic surgeon today for his assessment, I appreciate your prayers!

Also today is our second anniversary, it has flown by! Happy Anniversary Mike!